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Tribute to Dr. TIMOTHY LEARY
60'S LSD GURU, SCIENTIST, AUTHOR, PHILOSOPHER, COMPUTER SOFTWARE GENIUS, PROFESSOR OF ORIGINAL THOUGHT
From: Carol Rosin
I knew the moment Dr. Timothy Leary had taken his
last breath. John, the night hospice nurse, beckoned with his eyes for
me to stand by Timothy's bed, and put my fingers on his neck just as
his pulse faded and disappeared. My heart filled. The room illuminated.
His bedroom was lit with candles and little Christmas lights, his head
on a pillow cover painted with a picture of outer space and an
astronaut, he was covered in a velvety red blanket. He was wearing an
oversized T-shirt that read "If you only have one wish, make it BIG,"
with BIG in huge red letters. None of us were aware of the camera
rolling by his friends from Retnalogic, who organized his website to
document his death. His stepson Zach, placed a pink rose petal in his
open mouth after most left the room. Each of us spent a moment by his
side to give our goodbyes, thanks and love. Everyone there represented
every feeling one could have about death and dying, passing through and
moving on. Some smiled, some meditated in silence, some cried. The
passing of Timothy Leary, that particular soul, that part of all of us,
was, is, a very special passing. His reminders so profound.
The
room was silent all day except that everyone had agreed to be thinking,
"I love you Timothy. It is ok to go now." John had suggested this would
help him release himself, and that touching him or talking would bring
him back into his body, at a time when it was clear to all that he was
ready to leave. At one point during the day, however, he sat straight
up in his bed and said, "Why? Why not? WHY NOT? Why not? Why not? Why
not?" about twenty times with different inflections, as he looked into
the eyes of each person in the room. At another point, he said the
word, "Beautiful," as though he was describing something he was seeing.
Everyone who spent time with Timothy has hir story. Most of us will
never be the same after having met him. I will never be the same. This
is my tribute to Timothy. It's also a way for me to bring forward and
share awarenesses he raised.
One afternoon, his assistant, Vicki Marshal, and I asked him what he
wanted to do with his body. He said that he wanted to be cremated, and
that he wanted me to get his ashes into space. I've accepted this
mission, with the joy he expressed as he ordered it. An essence of
Timothy's ashes will be launched on board the Pegasus rocket, organized
by the first entrepreneurial space burial company in Houston, Texas,
Celestis, Inc., in late September or in October, from Vandenberg Air
Force Base. (The entire fee for space burial is only $4800.) Timothy
was thrilled to hear that he will be launched along with other space
pioneers including Gene Rodenberry, creator of "Star Trek," Dr. Gerard
O'Neill, author of "The High Frontier" and physist at Princeton
University who designed fabulous space stations and who educated us
about the mass driver which can mine the moon and asteroids, and Todd
Hauley, of the International Space University.
When he saw the three minute Celestis video, he jumped up and down in
his wheelchair, ecstatic as he watched the burst of light caused by the
burn-up of the rocket stage to which he'll be attached when it
re-enters the earth's atmosphere. He was, also, glad to learn he
wouldn't become space debris. When he looked so relieved as he said,
"Finally, I'll be a space pioneer, and everyone will know: That will be
me. I will be the light," I knew this was the very moment when he
decided to take the step, to release himself from his body.
What was once a dynamic and voluptious body housing this magnificent
brain and spirit, was now thin, bruised and frail, with patches to
cover holes in his legs from sores that wouldn't heal, housing the same
incredible brain and spirit. A unique nurse, Cathy, a former
dominatrix, was invited to visit because it was thought by his stepson
and friends, for a fleeting minute or two, that he might enjoy having
pretty nurses with short uniforms and garter belts holding his
medicine, or wearing bikini's or anything he wanted, as they would care
for him and talk him into behaving and taking his medicine, etc., and
he had fired other nurses during the past few days. After she shaved
him, he drove up next to me his wheelchair and asked for a mirror. He
stared for a several minutes, contemplating, then said sadly and with a
touch of astonishment, "This isn't me. I don't know this face." I held
my heart and wanted to cry. He did cry, that night, in my arms.
His wonderful friends came to visit, though he had begun to retreat
more and more, after Robert Anton Wilson and his wife, Arlin, visited,
and he had to ask me who they were. He forgot. I told him not to worry,
as he remembered me, so he wasn't so far out there.
A few days before he passed, I asked him, "Who are we?" He said, "We
are bearers of the light - light bearers. "What is our purpose?" I
asked. "We can shine it to illuminate others."
Two mornings before, as he awakened and sat on the side of his bed, his
eyes winked as they twinkled when he smiled and sang a whisper, "I've
had a sneak preview."
The morning before, the hospice nurse, Doris Angel, helped him into his
electric wheelchair so she could freshen his bed. He proceeded to wheel
himself outside to visit his year, the palm trees he described as tall
basketball players, the flowers, his dog and cat. Then, he got back
into bed, and began his slow breathing process.
Years ago, Timothy had listed me in the Genetic Hall of Fame in his
book, the Intelligence Agents, with people he called "evolutionary
agents" who were working for human evolution into space. I'll never
forget his Leary SMILE, which he said stands for SM, Space Migration,
the I is squared and stands for Intelligence Increase, and the LE
stands for Life Exstension.
I asked, "why have you asked me to stay with you during the last weeks
before you die?" He told me he called because I was the only person he
could think of who doesn't listen to anything he says, and he thought
he would need a friend like that as he got closer. I believe he was
right. He was always a little grumpy, and this trait amplified as the
pain got worse and he became more impatient and frustrated. I paid no
attention when he'd ask me to leave, as I knew it was because he was
feeling a sense of losing his dignity, and he thanked me every night as
I'd lay down next to him to sleep. He had such a strong, happy-go-lucky
personality in front of everyone, and that was mostly how he felt. He
was truly looking forward to the death experience. But the pain was
extraordinary, and he did the best he could to eleviate it and to stay
conscious. The nights were long, lonely, and sometimes weird, different
from anything he had ever experienced, or I had ever experienced. Words
cannot describe how lucky I was to have been there for, and with him,
during those dark hours.
AT 75, Dr. Timothy Leary consciously passed on with a smile on his
face, at 12:44 A.M., May 31, 1996. Or, is he "on the outside looking
in?" as the Moody Blues sing.
The day before he died, he handed me a balloon, and said, "This is my
last balloon. The last one I'll ever do." He was breathing nitrous
oxide to help eleviate the pain of his cancer. He knew this was the
time for him to pass on, and literally chose the next day to begin the
process.
I feel as though I was there so I could share his messages with you.
Timothy touched so many millions of people. He received 35,000 people
on his web site, and nearly 9,000 emails around this time. Some people
have tried to discredit Timothy, or believe he represented or did
something bad, but those people didn't know him, or listen to what he
was saying. They have closed minds, live in fear of truth, and likely
have never experimented with raising their consciousness or becoming
aware of their spirituality. He opened our minds, freed our nervous
systems of their normal patterns and structures, and expanded our
consciousness to receive new, evolutionary perspectives and the
possibilities of creating realities and reality shifts. He reminded us
that we are free, we are love, we are one, and we shall speak and live
our truth. His final teaching was that death is a joyous, wonderful
experience, another phase of life's journey.
He allowed me to tape his last interview, and he said, "My life work
has been to empower the individual. To free herself or himself. To grow
and be more free. Today we move into the next place ... use light to
enjoy space for individuals.
Ride the light into space with your friends! Light is the language of
the sun and the stars where we will meet again."
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